Here is the script for the opening scene of ‘Cop’, please be warned that this is action trash of the trashiest kind and should on no account be taken seriously… Although I imagine that Steven Seagal would kill for this kind of dialogue!
Maybe we’ll post the entire script if you really want it, and we can be arsed, but don’t hold your breath. If you do want to see the whole thing e-mail requests to: email@example.com
COP ON THE EDGE IX: PRELUDE TO JUSTICE
SCENE 1: EXTERIOR. ROOFTOP. DAY.
BLACK & WHITE.
Fade in on a wide expansive shot of Los Angeles, sometime in the middle of August. The smog hangs thick and heavy in the air, shielding the multistory carpark’s rooftop from the sun’s rays. Some 200 feet high, it strangely dwarfs the other buildings surrounding it, including La.’s only genuine Nineteenth century transporter bridge, bearing an uncanny resemblance to one found in the South East of Wales. As birds swoop overhead and chirp to their young, an Hispanic/Mancunian voice-over relates the conventions of the action movie genre. It is 1984.
In the world of cinema, the conventions of action films state thus: In the final climactic shoot-out between the good guy cop, and the evil despotic villain, the cop will find himself with his back to the wall, hopelessly outgunned, staring death in the face, because the bad guy, he holds all the aces. But somehow the cop, who is a cop on the edge, turns the situation around, and while the villain is over elaborating on bad dialogue to melodramatic effect, the cop suddenly pulls out a hidden gun, and wastes the villain’s useless ass. Heaving with emotion, the cop is then tearfully reunited with his estranged wife, the pathos of the situation temporarily patching the holes in their bad marriage. And thanks to cop, all is left fine with the world.
Cut to a close up of a goateed, bandana wearing bad guy. He is wearing a cheap looking pair of sunglasses that look a lot like the ones that were given away free with a Big Mac and fries in a promotion at McDonalds a few years ago. He is holding a very small shotgun. He is SANCHEZ CONCHITA GONZALEZ, evil drug dealer from Bogota (in Lancashire). He is the narrator that we hear.
You’ve seen Die Hard right? You know at the end of the movie, when Allan Rickman and Dennis Hayden have got the drop on Bruce Willis, and it looks like for Bruce, his number is up. Only for him to come back, and kill them both. Well, before the script was rewritten, in Jeb Stewart’s original published screenplay, Hans blows Bruce away, then throws Bonnie Bedelia off of the thirtieth floor, and the gang make their escape to the beach, and their twenty percent. He removes his sunglasses, smiles, then looks off camera right. The original Jake, as they say, is always the best.
Whip-pan to the left to reveal that a leather jacketed, gold-chain clad man is holding a gun on SANCHEZ. This is JAKE COP, the film’s hero. JAKE is a maverick LA police officer, renowned for his right-wing approach to policing. He has had many run-ins with his police captain and the mayor, possessing as he does a dislike for authority. And after tracking SANCHEZ down for months, he finally has him cornered on an LA high-rise.
In a gravely voice that somehow persists throughout the movie.
Cut the shit Sanchez, this ain’t a movie, and you sure as hell ain’t no Allan Rickman, and no amount of film critique bullshit’s gonna save your ass.
He points his gun at SANCHEZ
Now drop the piece.
Cut to a long shot to reveal that there are actually three men on the rooftop, all pointing guns at each other. The other man is “JIMMY” JAMES JOHNSON, JAKE’s jovial partner. A committed family man, he is constantly nervous working with JAKE, as he always seems to find himself in car-chases and shoot-outs. Although sceptical of JAKE’s direct, violent approach, he trusts him implicitly. He is glad that they have finally found SANCHEZ, as he is looking forward to some much needed time off, having been traumatised by the recent death of his wife MAUREEN, La.’s chief district attorney. She was killed on route to Ohio, traveling to testify against LOPEZ, Ohio’s No. 1 gangland boss. LOPEZ’s men shot her in her car as she drove to court; and as a result, LOPEZ walked. The only thing JIMMY has left now is his beautiful daughter, KELLY, whom he dotes on constantly.
You heard Cop, Sanchez, we’re taking you in, one way or the other!
SANCHEZ Finds the entire situation amusing.
You really think, two badly tailored, ten-dollar an hour, scum-bag cops are gonna send Sanchez Conchita Gonzalez, number one supplier of premiere nose candy to south central LA, up the river?
Looks like you made a mistake Sanchez, you’re only number two, and after we’ve put ten thousand vaults through your worthless carcass, we’re going after that vermin you call a boss, Antoine.
I’m afraid senoir Vivaldi met with a little accident this morning. Now I’m numero uno.
Looks like you saved us some paperwork Sanchez.
Now put the piece down, we ain’t kidding around!
Careful Jimmy, this guy’s a psycho!
You ought to listen to your partner Jimmy, ‘cos after I’ve wasted you,
He indicates JIMMY.
He indicates JAKE, before turning back to JIMMY.
I’m coming after your daughter, comprendé ?
On ‘comprendé’, SANCHEZ’s Colombian accent strangely starts to change into an English, northwestern one. It sounds like he’s on ‘Coronation Street’.
In panic and desperation.
You keep away from my baby, she’s all I’ve got!
Reassuring his partner.
He turns to SANCHEZ
Who’s to say we ain’t gonna waste your ass right now?
But you’re a cop!
JAKE looks at SANCHEZ, then slowly cocks his gun. Not a word is uttered, as the three of them stare each other down. The tension is unbearable. SANCHEZ, realising that JAKE has no intention of arresting him, smiles. If JAKE has come here to dish out a little death, then & SANCHEZ will serve some first. He turns sharply and fires his shotgun at JIMMY.
JIMMY, struck directly in the chest, yet strangely with no blood showing, falls back from the blast, grabbing hold of the bars protecting him from a 200ft sheer drop. In a cheap looking strobe effect slo-mo, SANCHEZ turns back to JAKE, ready to fire, but JAKE is too fast and shoots SANCHEZ square in the chest. SANCHEZ falls down, dead. Turning back to JIMMY, whose grip is failing, JAKE makes a prodigious, life saving leap for his partner’s hand. JIMMY slips, only to be caught by JAKE in the nick of time.
In agony from the wound in is chest, JIMMY’s hand slowly starts to slip from JAKE’s. Silently, JIMMY curses the thick, woolen gloves he is wearing. Jimmy… Another inch, their hands part. JIMMY tries to reach up with his other hand, but his arm is immobile. If only JAKE could use his other hand to help JIMMY, but it is holding his .357 Magnum, and he’ll be damned if he’s going to drop it.
ANOTHER INCH! JIMMY’s gloves. Damn his thin blood! Jimmy! With a cry, JIMMY falls!
JIMMY plummets to his death, his legs impossibly bending over his head as he falls. Wracked with guilt, JAKE stares at the inert body of his partner 200 feet below. Suddenly overcome with emotion, he spins around to face SANCHEZ, his gold chains bouncing on his leathers as he does, but SANCHEZ is gone! Where his dead body should be, only a bandana remains. JAKE walks over and roughly picks it up, then strides to the side of the building. Overlooking the expanse of LA, he knows that in that crime-ridden cesspool, SANCHEZ, the killer of his partner, is hiding. Somewhere, somehow, SOMEONE, is going to pay. Holding his hands to the sky as if lamenting the very God that created him, JAKE screams out in revenge…
Cut to a wide city shot as some funky seventies music blares in and the title sequence starts. Read: